Wednesday, June 8, 2011

I'm Gonna Keep The Path I Am On

Well, I kinda had some things come up last night... lol. I had to cut some study time for an Algebra II final to go to the Texas Roadhouse and hand out some fliers, like I was told... Then I got kicked out of the parking lot and told, as I knew, what I was doing was called Soliciting. But I was just doing as I was told, and I got reprimanded for it. Now, because of being blackballed into something, we may not get the money because we went against the agreement of "NO SOLICITING". Pretty lame. Then I had some old feelings for a person come up and got my brain all twisted around. I just can't seem to let go after a year and a half, and it really sucks... So I had some old feelings come up, just as I was beginning to repress them. I love that girl so dang much and I am just to stubborn to walk away or forget. So I went to bed, after listening to some hymnals, to help me chill out. I woke up, took a shower, went to school, ACED MY MATH FINAL!!!!, then talked to a really good friend. I at that point realized, that I really can't love anyone else until I let go of my old feelings and love myself; It just isn't fair to the other party. So for a while more, as much as it kinda sucks to say, I am going to remain atypical by staying single. I just can't make another person wait for me or force myself to just change all "willy-nilly" because then I am being the controlling one or becoming something completely different from what I was "Liked" (I hate that phrase) for in the first place.
Relationships, are kinda a waste of time... unless you find the right person and then it is worth all the time in the world, and then some... I haven't found the "Right One" yet, so I will just keep looking, that is, after I learn to fully love myself and completely get over someone.

Ponder this: If you were in this situation, what would YOU do?

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